1.Must See: Precious
Photo Courtey of Robin Holland
“Because black women have been harder than men to fit into cliches of race, we often disappear… Disregarded or forgotten or, when remembered, misconstrued, the symbolic history of black women has not functioned in the same way as the symbolic history of black men.” – Nell Irvin Painter, PhD
Historian. Artist. Educator. Author. World Traveler. Nell Irvin Painter, PhD is one of the leading and foremost authorities specializing in the experiences of African American women in the 19th and early 20th century.
Born in Houston, TX, at the Houston Hospital for Negroes, Nell Irvin Painter was the only daughter to Dona and Frank Irvin. Shortly after Nell’s birth and undoubtedly to create better opportunities for themselves and their daughter, Nell’s parents moved her to Northern California. It was here that Nell attended Oakland Public Schools and began to cultivate what would be an impeccable educational journey.
Perhaps it was the influence of her father, a trained Chemist who worked for many years in the Chemistry department of the University of California at Berkeley, or her mother, an administrator for Oakland public schools and celebrated author, that compelled Nell to pursue her passion for education. As an Anthropology major at the University of California at Berkely, Nell developed an interest in the culture of Africa and the African Diaspora. In lieu of courses on American history, she chose to supplement her studies with travel abroad. She spent summers in Nigeria and France before receiving her bachelor’s degree.
Nell returned again to Africa, this time to Ghana, upon completing her undergraduate studies to attend a post-baccalaureate program at the University of Ghana’s Institute of African Studies. It was her experiences in Africa that reignited her interest in history. So much so that she returned to the United States and earned a master’s degree in history at the University of California at Los Angeles. Shortly thereafter she enrolled in a doctorate program at Harvard University and began shifting her focus from African to American history.
Since obtaining her doctorate, Nell has held several professorial positions in such prestigious institutions as the University of Pennsylvania, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and most recently at Princeton University. Likewise she holds honorary doctorates from Yale University, Wesleyan University, Dartmouth College and SUNY New Paltz. The fruits of her educational labor can be seen across the pages of the countless articles and seven books she has authored to date, including the critically acclaimed Sojourner Truth, A Life, A Symbol.
Nell is recently retired from Princeton University but remains very active in the academic and historian community, can frequently be seen on television panels or being interviewed on topics ranging from politics and classism to African American women’s issues and American history. She’s even begun indulging her talent for art and is currently enrolled in a Master of Fine Arts program for painting at the Rhode Island School of Design. After watching her recently on Fareed Zakaria’s CNN program and previously in an interview with Bill Moyers in 2008, it’s clear to see why she was one of the most popular professors at Princenton and is one of the most celebrated historians of our time.
The other day I had a conversation with a male friend about ChRihanna. He knew me years ago when I myself was in a violent relationship. He knows about my current work in the community and with organizations such as Safe Horizon that help to eliminate the myths around abuse and help victims of violence move towards healing and recovery. We discussed what we had heard about the incident between Rihanna & Chris. During our conversation I took the position that Chris needs to be held accountable for his actions and that no matter what Rihanna said or did, she did not deserve nor make Chris beat her. His response was “Well, he’s a kid…they’re both young and as they grow up they’ll more than likely move grow out of this behavior.”
My response to him was pointed. “Immaturity is not an excuse for violent behavior. If that were the case, everyone would be batterers at one point in their life.”
Contrary to popular misconception, abusive behavior is not a behavior that you grow out of. Domestic violence has its roots in a paradigm of thinking that is characterized by fear and control. As much as some would like to believe this to be true, batterers do not age out of their behaviors. Batterers typically just become more adept at hiding and or justifying their abusive behavior.
His next statement really brought into focus how misinformed many people are about domestic violence. “Well, he’s been a victim of violence himself. He witnessed abuse as a child. He’s a victim too.”
I paused and took three breaths before speaking.
“That may be a reason why he is who he is, but it doesn’t excuse his behavior.”
A “feel sorry for me” story about his childhood is simply a way to distract from the abuser’s current behavior and place the blame for his actions on another person. The problem isn’t the abuser’s childhood-it’s how he thinks. Everyone suffers…that is a fundamental truism of life. Everyone has been hurt and many have been abused. Yet not everyone reacts to frustration and anger by using their fists. I am pleased to say that by the end of our conversation, my friend had shifted his position on the issue and acknowledged that there was no excuse for what Chris did to Rihanna. I applaud him for his willingness to change his position based upon a logical argument, and not stand by his prior one simply because of ego or social conditioning.
I hope that Chris continues to seek the support and counseling needed to really reflect upon his abusive behavior and the impact that it has had not just on the woman he loved, but to all the young men and women who look up to him. Abusive men deserve compassion and forgiveness just like anyone else. But they must also be held accountable for their actions and not be given passes because of age or personal history. It is my hope that Chris continues to seek help and really take some time to reflect upon not just his actions in the car with Rihanna that night, but his relationship to women overall. Violence against women will not end until we as a collective stop rationalizing abusive behavior and adopt a zero tolerance attitude towards violence. Let’s call it what it is: a crime against women that annihilates the soul and destroys the family.
***
Sil Lai Abrams is the author of No More Drama: Nine Simple Steps to Transforming a Breakdown Into a Breakthrough and Men’s Fitness magazine’s relationship expert. She is a domestic violence awareness & prevention advocate who actively works with Safe Horizon to combat violence against women and children. You can learn more about Sil Lai and her work by visiting www.sepiaprocess.com. She was also recently featured on Good Morning America talking about domestic violence in response to the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident.
There’s no better way to change up an outfit than adding some accessories. These jewelry pieces are fantastic finds under $50.
It seems like forever ago when we were first eligible to check the 25-35 age box. After we threw our “flirty thirty” birthday party in New York, I remember us thinking we didn’t feel any different now that we were “older.” But ever since turning the big 3-3 we came to the realization that several elements about life change once you hit your flirty thirties:
1. A Night In with the Girls Beats a Sweaty Club Any Day – In the twenties it was all about the sweat box club. But in the flirty thirties, there’s something about chatting it up with your girls over a good bottle of wine, home cooked cuisine and your comfy clothes that you just can’t beat.
2. Ability to Fake Anything Declines Dramatically- This goes for enduring the annoying co-worker or incompetent boss to the friend you’ve just frankly outgrown or man you’re not really feeling.
3. PMS Kicks in Like Jackie Chan – Who knew the thirties brought with it a rush of unnecessary hormones in the form of three to four days worth of downright agitation, crankiness or crying for no apparent reason?
4. Feeling Your Independent Streak – The thirties seem to invigorate your desire for independence. You may find yourself traveling for vacation solo or moving to a new place without the safety net of friends and family.
5. Desire to Try New Things – Whether you’ve actually gone through with it or not, there’s no denying that there’s an urge to try things you’ve never done before in your thirties. So far our list includes joining a rowing team, running a half marathon, taking up bikram yoga and doing the master cleanse. 
6. Random New Aches and Pains – When you were in your twenties it was nothing to break out in a sprint up a flight of stairs. In your thirties….not so much. Of course staying in shape has a lot to do with this but if you’ve ever had a knee randomly give out on you while walking or heard your bones crack while performing routine tasks then you know what we mean.
7. Opting for Flats Instead of Heels – There’s something about wearing cheap heels in your twenties that does a number on your feet by the time you hit 30. We still love our heels but nowadays there’s usually a pair of cute flats stuffed in a bag close by.
8. Knowing When to Say When – It’s no coincidence that your thirties is characterized by bold moves whether in your career or your personal life. There’s something about this period that makes you feel more inclined to be decisive about when to put a period to a situation, change course and feel good about moving on.
9. Sleep is a Necessity, Not Optional – Once upon a time four hours of sleep and a shot of “no doze” or a strong cup of Quick Trip coffee was all we needed to get through the day. Such is soooo not the case anymore. Siesta anyone?
10. Coming Into Your Own – If the twenties are about transition then the thirties are truly a time of coming into your own. Understanding yourself as a woman and feeling grounded in who you are is a sure sign that you’re officially in your flirty thirties.
Do you have other signs to add to this list? Post a comment to let us know.
Mitzi Joi Williams
Name: Mitzi Joi Williams
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Current City: Augusta, GA
What roles do you play in life?: Neurologist, Medical Director of the Augusta Multiple Sclerosis Center (Medical College of Georgia), Medical Director of Adult Rehabilitation Services, Assistant Professor, Sister, Daughter.
Hobbies: Singer/Songwriter, Playing Acoustic Guitar, Worship Leader at my church, Singer in a local recording group
Where did you go to school? Emory University, undergrad; Morehouse School of Medicine – Med School; Medical College of Georgia – Residency and Fellowship
What is the last movie you saw? I Love You, Man
What is your favorite TV show? Heroes
Shuffle your iPod – what’s the first song that comes up? I Don’t Trust Myself with Loving You – John Mayer
What is your favorite travel destination? Bermuda
What beauty product can’t you live without? Mac Lip Glass
Finish this sentence, “To feel more centered I…”: Do Yoga
Who is your celebrity fashion inspiration? None, I make my own style 
What is your favorite restaurant? Copeland’s
What words do you live by? “The man who conceals his disease cannot be cured”
By Kailei Richardson
November 4, 2008: the night that most of us will never forget. I bet we all can remember where we were when the votes came in and Barack Obama became the first Black president of the United States.
For me, I had just awoken shortly after touchdown in Dallas. “We did it! Your vote counted, girl!” was the first voicemail I received (from my mom) after I landed. I was still registered to vote in Illinois and since my absentee ballot I requested never arrived, I decided 48 hours before the election that I had to fly to Illinois to vote. There was absolutely no way I wasn’t going to be able to tell my children that I voted in the 2008 election. And even though I had a pretty good idea the democrats would take Illinois, I still wanted to make sure my vote was counted. And the joy that came over me when I selected “Obama/Biden” for my presidential vote made the price of the ticket well worth it.
I remember watching the votes coming in on CNN while I was on my layover in Atlanta that evening. I was on the edge of my seat, hanging on to every states’ results as they came in. But it wasn’t until I landed in Dallas that I found out the results. The poke on my arm from the person sitting next to me woke me up from my slumber. As I opened my eyes I was greeted by a CNN browser on a BlackBerry as the stranger in the seat next to me said, “He won!” And though I heard the words he said, I knew that from one brown person to another, he was really saying, “we won.”
As I walked into the DFW international airport, there was a group hovered around the hanging television at our arrival gate. Obama was giving his speech in Grant Park. As I watched him speak, it hit me. It consumed me. It overwhelmed me. As I thought about the meaning of this monumental election, I realized that I was a part of history. Arguably, no longer could race be a hindrance or a crutch. No longer could I, or my people, feel like there was anything we couldn’t do. The highest post in the land was now honorably occupied by someone who looked like me for the first time ever. And there I was, in the middle of gate 31C in the DFW airport, uncontrollably bawling my eyes out.
And here we are one year later. Has the triumph we felt that night continued? Do we still feel invincible? Has Obama’s victory changed the racial temperature for the better as many thought? Share your story and tell us how you feel.
Doesn’t this picture make you want to go out and buy this outfit? Featured in O Magazine, Raw Food Consultant Beatrice Johnston is wearing this Alms cocoon sweater and knitted infinity scarf! At $637 we’re not going to be rushing to buy the cocoon sweater today, but we did find a few others as well as some fabulous knit scarves to check out.
1. Silence & Noise Stitch Detail Cocoon Cardigan, Urban Outfitters
2. Petite Cable Knit Shrug, Banana Republic
3. Elizabeth and James Bouclé Knit Shrug
4. LC Lauren Conrad Cocoon Sweater
5. Accessory Street Open Knit Infinity Scarf
6. Lorelai Chunky Cowl in Pumpkin, Etsy
7. Urban Chic Extra Long Drop Stitch Mobius Cowl by PhylPhil
Few organizations can boast that they have the clout and reputation to bring together the most influential people of color in the communications industry. Even fewer can do so in a blizzard in Denver, CO. But that’s exactly what the National Association of Multiethnicity in Communications and the Walter Kaitz Foundation were able to do earlier this week, Oct 26-28, at their annual conference and dinner.
NAMIC, established in 1980 and led by Kathy Johnson, is the premiere organization that “educates, advocates and empowers for multi-ethnic diversity in the telecommunications industry.” Members include cable operators and programmers to new media professionals, on-air talent and entrepreneurs. Think of it as the “who’s who” of people of color in the media and communications industry.
Each year NAMIC hosts an annual conference to recognize companies who exemplify the NAMIC mission and to provide a forum for discussion amongst the best and the brightest in the business. General morning and lunch sessions featured engaging speakers like Chris Hughes (co-founder of Facebook and mastermind behind My.BarackObama.com) and Dr. Sanjay Gupta (Chief Medical Correspondent, CNN). One conference attendee, Andrea Agnew of Comcast, had this to say after hearing Dr. Sanjay Gupta speak, “[he] truly embodied the spirit of humanitarianism”. Throughout each day of the conference, concurrent panel sessions around hot topics in the industry stirred up thought provoking dialog amongst the conference attendees. Panel topics like “Diversity in White: Personal Journeys of White Male Executives”, “Leading with your Right” and “Tribalization of Social Media: How to Become a Chieftan” challenged participants to engage in candid discussion with key leaders in the industry. Still other panels like “Winning Program Formulas” moderated by industry heavy weight Pearlena Igbokwe (SVP Original Programming for Showtime; responsible for the hit series Soul Food) offered attendees practical guidance and insight to the world of multi-ethnic content and programming.
Once night time hit, not even the Denver blizzard could keep conference attendees from taking the time to unwind and network with fellow NAMIC colleagues and friends. NAMIC’s most recent Executive Leadership Development Program graduates, Class VIII, took over local hot spot Jazz at Jacks for some post conference music, food, fun and yes…the cupid shuffle. Good times had by all.
Following the three day NAMIC conference, attendees whose companies sponsor the Walter Kaitz Foundation were treated to an evening of elegant dinning and a program honoring this year’s Diversity Champions, Comcast and Turner Broadcasting. The evening was hosted by TJ Holmes who proved to be both a captivating master of ceremonies and surprisingly funny. The Walter Kaitz Foundation was established in 1980 and functions as an advocate for diversity in the cable and telecommunications industry. The event raised over one million dollars and was yet another fantastic production by the organization led by Executive Director David Porter.
As a member of the NAMIC organization, graduate of ELDP Class VIII and a supporter of the Walter Kaitz foundation I can say with great sincerity that these organizations are well worth supporting and membership is truly priceless. If you are in the media/communications industry or are interested in learning more about it, I encourage you to join!
If you’re a woman on the go, chances are your busy travel schedule can’t stop for the outbreak of H1N1. So in the interest of promoting health and wellness we’ve compiled a few tips we’ve come across to help you avoid those pesky travel and office germs:
1. Sit towards the front of the airplane. Ventilation systems on most commercial aircraft provide better airflow at the front of the plane.
2. Avoid drinking coffee or tea on airplanes. Monitoring by the Environmental Protection Agency has shown that water in airplanes water tanks is not always clean. Coffee and tea is usually made from this water as opposed to bottled. So stick to ordering single serve beverages.
3. Moisturize the inside of your nostrils with saline nasal gel or a good antibacterial (alcohol free) moisturizing cream. It keeps your nose from drying out on the plane and can help trap dust particals and pollutants before they enter your airway.
4. Check out these tips from Dr. Oz on how to keep your pocketbook and make-up santized and nearly germ free.
5. Stack up on your travel size hand sanitizer and use it generously. Keep a bottle on your desk at the office too!
6. Know the facts about H1N1. Learn more here on WebMD
7. This goes without saying, but pack your vitamins and herbs in your carry-on luggage or keep in your desk at work. This time of year we’re loving Airborne and a variety of great teas with plenty of health benefits like Echinacea tea with honey.
Do you have some “stay healthy travel tips” that you use? If so, share them with us! Let’s all stay healthy!
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