Avoiding the Bouquet


By Kailei Richardson

Don’t you remember the days when, in the not so distant past, many women looked forward to the bouquet toss at weddings? Women would fight over the flowers – sometimes harming the bouquet or each other in the process. But recently there has been a noticeable change. I’ve noticed many weddings don’t even have the traditional bouquet/garter toss. And those that do seem to have much different outcomes than years past.  Which is what happened at a lovely wedding I attended this past weekend in Dallas. Attendees of the wedding included many of the bride’s girlfriends, many who were single, beautiful, and successful with advanced degrees from top institutions.

After dinner, we hit the dance floor, did the Cupid Shuffle and the likes, when “Single Ladies” came on and the bride approached the dance floor holding her bouquet. As I looked around I realized that the women around me knew what was coming next and there seemed to be a reluctance and hesitation as they entered the dance floor.

So there we were, the “single ladies.” Some women were playing the part, looking like they would participate, while others were there with their arms folded, standing in the back. But I still expected that all would change once the flowers were airborne. Then the moment of truth came. The bouquet was in the air and descending towards the crowd, when it starts to land to my left. Though it looked like it was going to land between my two friends, it was like the parting of the seas when they split in the opposite direction to avoid it! To my surprise there were no “‘bows throwed,” nor did anyone rush to pick up the bouquet on the floor. After about five or so seconds, once this was clear, someone came to pick it up, realizing that she might as well claim it as clearly, no one else was.
This episode made me think, is it that we are so jaded by the stats about marriage rates of black women that we don’t even want to get our hopes up, or are more of us becoming okay with forever being single ladies? Let us know what you think.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Avoiding the Bouquet

  1. Internalist

    I recently wondered post-bouquet toss why I was hesitant and consequently avoided catching the bouquet. I resolved that I (who is in a relationship) am cautious about being too eager. I don’t want to be too eager about marriage for fear of being criticized by others and/or the possibility of disappointment-forever being a single lady.

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