Heartbreak. We’ve all experienced it. That feeling when your mind and body simultaneously realize that the man you’ve invested significant time and energy in and fantasized about the future with is no longer a part of your life. It’s that visceral response you have when you begin to imagine how your daily routine will change now that he is no longer a part of it. Often times the sadness of heartbreak can be so overwhelming that it paralyzes you. While there’s no cure for heartbreak, there are a few things you can do to get yourself back on the mend. Consider these six “heartbreak repair tips”:
1) Cry – Give yourself permission to have a good ol’ fashioned ugly cry. Whether by yourself or with your friends, having a good cry can do wonders for preparing your body to release the person and the relationship in order to begin the grieving process. So go ahead…let it out!
2) Soundtrack Your Heartbreak – Music is so healing. Try making four playlists for your iPod. Start by creating a “lovey dovey” playlist with all the romantic songs that make you think about him (e.g. Pattie LaBelle’s “If Only You Knew”). Next make a “you make me sick” playlist with songs expressing your anger about the situation (e.g. Alanis Morrisette’s “You Oughta Know”). Then make a “It’s time for me to get over you” playlist with songs like Mariah Carey’s “Shake it Off” and finally make a “I’m over it, happy and moving on” playlist with songs like Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine”. Listen to the “lovey dovey” playlist until you’re ready to move to the “you make me sick” playlist, and so on. You’d be surprise how the music helps you through your grieving process.
3) Plan Your Thinking and Crying – If you find that you keep thinking about him and crying throughout the day, try planning your thinking and crying. Sounds odd I know. But if you tell yourself, I’m only going to think/cry about the situation after 5pm it gives your brain a way to make it through the day and the part of you that wants to grieve will have something to look forward to. Eventually you’ll find that you can shorten the timeframes to “after 7pm” or “just before bed time”. Soon, you’ll find you’ve gone a whole day without even thinking/crying about the situation.
4) Keep Busy – You may not feel like talking and hanging out with your friends but do it anyway. It will keep your mind occupied so that you don’t spiral further down.
5) Pamper Yourself – Do something to take care of yourself. Your mind, body and spirit are going through a rough time right now. And since all three are connected, doing something for your body (like a massage) can instantly raise the harmony levels in your mind and spirit.
6) Ground Yourself – Take the time silent time at the end of your day to ground yourself. Whether it’s through prayer before bed, chanting, meditating or just being silent. Make it a habit to ground yourself in the reality that while your heart may be broken, you are not…and this too shall pass.