Put A Ring On It?


All last year choruses of women raised their left hands to sing along with Beyonce that “if he liked it then he shoulda put a ring on it!” Even the Chipettes got in on the action. Whether it’s a solitaire or surrounded by baguettes, diamonds have maintained the reputation of being a girl’s best friend, especially when it comes to proposals.  Jewelry companies pander to the fantasies of women that if he really means it, if he really loves you, he’ll give you a big, fat “fill in the blank brand” diamond.  It’s practically second nature to ask about “the ring” when you hear one of your friends has gotten engaged. Many a nose has turned up at the sight of a cloudy, tiny, speck of a ring. For some the ring symbolizes a well thought out plan to commit and invest in a sustaining relationship. Some prefer to shop for the ring with their partner while others prefer to be surprised. But what if your significant other doesn’t have the money for a ring?

Unless you’re filthy rich, the current economic “slow down” in America has undoubtedly impacted your lifestyle in some way, shape or form.  I recently had a conversation with a sociologist friend of mine and he insisted that no woman would accept a proposal without a ring, particularly black women. He shared a few thoughts, to which I countered that if a woman feels truly loved and committed to by her partner, she would understand if he couldn’t afford a ring and would likely accept the proposal anyway. But maybe that’s just me…Vyne readers, what do you think. Would you accept a proposal from the person you love without a ring?

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7 Comments

Filed under Relationships, Uncategorized

7 responses to “Put A Ring On It?

  1. Andi

    Yes! I would accept the proposal without the ring! I agree that if the foundation of the relationship is solid, the size of the ring or a ring at all should not matter. In the end, the true comittment lies in the hearts of both partners. I have a dear girlfriend, whose husband proposed to her w/a sterling silver bracelet. When tthey married, they exchanged matching bracelets – 13yrs ago. How fun?!

  2. mimi

    “I recently had a conversation with a sociologist friend of mine and he insisted that no woman would accept a proposal without a ring, particularly black women. ”

    oh come on! what does that have to do with black women. i am engaged to a wonderful man, and i don’t have a ring, what i have (and always had)is his love, commitment, devotion and a wedding date! that’s what i care about.

  3. Karen Brown

    I found the article very interesting. I personally want an enagement ring. To me, that is just as important as the wedding band. It is a symbol of a promise. Do I want the hope diamond?Definitely not, I would even consider a non traditional engagement ring where the center stone was another type of precious stone such as ruby, emerald, saphire, but not limited to those types of stones. I will admit, that I know several women who choose to accept a proposal without an engagement ring and opt for a watch instead for religious reasons. I don’t think that their choice is better or worse than the average diva that wants a diamond / precious stone engagement ring. I think the true measure is the love that the couple shares for one another.

  4. KG

    Ring, bracelet, watch, etc. The chosen symbol of commitment can be different for every couple, but I believe that there should be a symbol presented. I believe a commitment with a tangible attachment requires more forethought. Stick with me on this analogy…In years past (pre recession) my employer planned company trips, and the spouse was free. With only a verbal commitment many people would cancel and have no ill feelings about their decision or the position of the company after catering orders were confirmed. When there was a monetary commitment required that was refunded at the time of the event the cancellation rate was lower. Even when there is a $5 commitment most event planners will agree that people are more committed to their response than when there is no cost at all. The amount does not matter in these cases as it should not with the tangible item that is given as a sign of the commitment. The point is that it generates more forethought, and thus a more solid commitment. Please do mistake this to mean that the purchase of an item equals commitment, fidelity, etc., but it certainly requires forethought which is needed for a lifetime commitment. My two cents…

  5. Karim

    I think that something should be given but i have always hated the “rules” associated with it and ring “showing” and false attributes associated with it. The thought that saving for a ring shows commitment doesnt seem to be true in and of itself. Peoples relationships are more complicated than that. In the days when folks were working and courting from afar its more feasible but as mentioned in the article economic times and situation may not allow for it. Men and women are taking on all types of rolls in relationships. Suppose hes been providing for kids and paying rent and so on or providing tuition and such which happens on both sides. Is this not a show of commitment worthy of marraige? Or how about the man or woman for whom money or jewelry means nothing? I think that if its a silver ring from the vender on 125th or a mood ring, as long as two involved know whats going on, anything is appropriate.

  6. Karim

    Its a question that has so many cultural aspects also which makes most view points understandable. I did enjoy the question though Vyne

  7. JC

    Yes totally! There are not enough surprises in life and if you ring shop then you know the question is coming. I rather not know and then design/pick out my own ring after the surprise. Maybe he can propose with another piece of jewelery that way you get two instead of one!

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